Gathering 6, Farewell To The Head of Steam

Ahh, tis the Christmas season, a time of goodwill and cheer.  But enough of
that sentimental crap, and let's get on with the Gathering Review...

I was half expecting G6 to be a bit special, partly because of its close 
proximity to Christmas, partly because it was the last Gathering of
1996 (and the last to be held in the Head of Steam), but also because
it was number 6 (remember what I said about Gatherings and Centauri
thingys waaaaay back after G2? :-)

So, 5 to seven on Tuesday evening, and I enter the bar.  It had been a hard
ride from Dobsons Creek and I was ready for a drink, when out the corner
of my eye I noticed big bad Suds, the leader of the Matrix Gang.  Like a
flash, my hand was reaching for my six shooter, but.....


THWACK THWACK THWACK


Much better.  Like I was saying, I arrived to find Keith already in the
bar, and looking like he'd been there a while.  As I stood waiting for
my pint to arrive he wandered over, looked at me with a rather odd
expression, and then the penny didn't so much drop as fall with great
speed towards the ground.  Yes, Keith had totally forgotten about the
Gathering, and it was sheer coincidence that he was in the pub.  Oops!

Figuring that this was a pretty bad start to the evening, it was something
of a relief to see Jeff and Sherrie arrive just a minute or so later.  Leaving
Keith to his workmates, we settled ourselves down in the corner to await 
whoever else might turn up, and in the meantime started off the conversations
with talk about some new film that's just been released - First Contract
or something...

Ian and Mel then turned up, having decided to watch the rerun of Signs and
Portents first (YESSSSSS, a B5 reference! - it'll be the only one you're going
to get as well :-), and not too long afterwards Janet appeared out of the
light mist that was hanging over the city.  This, our smallest turnout since
G2, was interesting because for the first time ever we had an equal number of
males and females.  Who said sci-fi was a male only thing?

If I recall correctly (he says, quickly checking the rather comprehensive
list of notes I took), we eventually stopped picking large holes out
of First Contact at just after 8pm, only to start on an equally brainteasing
topic, the Spice Girls :-)  Or to be more precise, the lads started gibbering
about the Spicey ones, whilst the lasses started counterattacking with 
Boyzone.  Getting vaguely back onto the B5 thread, Ian started making up words
to Wannabe in the style of Londo Mollari, with musical accompaniment from
Richard Vranch on the piano......err, sorry, wrong show!

Where was I?  Oh yes, Spice Girls...  yeah Ian, you can keep Victoria (and
the other three if you like), so long as you stay clear of Mel C.  I think
I made myself clear on that point, but you can't be too careful when it comes
to affairs of the heart.

Since we were on a musical note, and since Janet had mentioned it quite
accidentally, it seemed like a good time to pass round the alternative lyrics
for Waterloo and YMCA.  Although we didn't get any singing done (but with the
jukebox on full throttle, it would have been difficult to say the least), we
did manage to perform the arm movements for YMCA.  I suppose we must have looked
like a bunch of total prats to anyone looking on, but who cares?

At around half nine (I think - time seemed to be following the Z'Ha'Dum principle
of working differently tonight), Jeff and Sherrie said their farewells, but
cunningly this still left us with a 50:50 split between the sexes.  Not long after
this, someone had the cheek to try phoning Ian on his mobile.  Considering the
ambient volume in the bar, it was no great surprise that no-one heard the phone
ringing, and it was only Mel who noticed the LCD announcing an incoming call.  Quite
what she was doing staring down at Ians waistline is another matter, but I'll
let it pass.....

(otherwise she'll kill me the next time she sees me :-)

This led us onto the question of why we never see characters in B5 (or any other
sci-fi show) getting a call on their comlink when they're in a noisy area.  I mean,
you never see Sheridan answering his link, trying to hear what's being said, then
running out of the room into the corridor where it's quieter.  Do you?  So why is
it that this seems to be a constant problem with mobile phones?  Ian suggested
that getting a vibrating pager would be a good idea, to avoid any need to listen
for a beep.  Of course, being Ian he then had to suggest that it would also be
a good excuse for people to try phoning him, just so he could get a quick buzz...

Well, what's this?  Keith finally shakes off his workmates and decides it'd be a
good idea to join us.  Well, better late than never I guess, and he did redeem
himself by providing the peanuts again (though not quite as many as last time!).
Since he hadn't seen it earlier, Ian showed off his rather decent A3 print of a
Thunderbolt.  To be honest, you could have quite easily replaced the print with
a newborn baby, and Ian would have looked right at home - that picture really
does seem to be his pride and joy, aw diddums :-)

Once more, for the benefit of Keith, we went back over the First Contact and
Spice Girls threads.  Somewhat alarming was the fact that Keith, by all accounts
a bloke, couldn't name his favourite Spice Girl, even after much deliberating,
cogitating and other things associated with Lloyd Grossman.  Amazing!  He must be
the only man in the entire world who doesn't know instinctively which one is
the favoured one.  What was even more alarming however was his favourable
reaction when we then got onto Boyzone...  Och dearie me.

Just to bring the tone of the evening down to it's usual gutter level, Ian then
ran us through the Urinal Quiz, which amused the hell out of us lads and left
the ladies a bit baffled.  Of course, they then got their own back by talking
about the goings on in the ladies lavvies, things we men know nowt about (or so
we claim...)  Just to round the evening off, there was a bit of conflict between
Ian and Mel over who owned the volume of space beneath the table and who,
therefore, was entitled to put their feet there.  Hey ho, the things some people
will argue about.

I vaguely recall additional talk about sex and peanut butter, sex and chocolate,
and sex in general, but being the sweet and innocent that I am (Ed: who're you
trying to kid, eh?), I was too shocked to make any notes about this.  Damned
shame really :-)


Ohmygodit'spasteleven!!!  Yeah, without warning, eleven pm came and went, and
we just managed to get out of the pub in time to catch our buses/metros etc.
Like I said, time was working differently this evening, the first couple of
hours seemed to drag on forever, and then the next two went by in something
best described as a flash.

So, thus ended Gathering 6, the last gathering of 1996 and the last (probably)
gathering in the Head of Steam.  Whilst it was a small do, I think I speak
for all present when I say it was the most enjoyable meeting we've had so far.

To those that were there, I think you`ll agree I`ve only just begun to do
the evening justice with this review.  To those that weren`t, believe me,
it was a hugely enjoyable evening, and not even the finest literary figures
in the world could hope to put it all into words.  Of course, if Mel hadn`t
been so eager to grab my notes all through the evening, I might have been
able to make them more accurate.  But when you`re trying to write with
one hand and fend off the "Mel from Hell"  (I obviously have a deathwish :-)
with the other, subtlety goes out the window and you`re just glad to get
the basics down on paper.


Here's to 1997, a new year and a new home for our group.  Let's hope the fun
continues, at least until series 4 arrives and we have a good excuse not to
talk about anything other than B5.


I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the brave fools who've joined us
along the way this year.  Without your support for the Gatherings, 1996
just wouldn't have been the same.  Here's to 1997!

And yes, because it's just a few days away now.........MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!


Chris

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