Gathering 11, The First Anniversary/401

OK, who changed the rules?  We get some new, never before seen, B5 to talk
about and what happens?  We almost entirely ignore it.  In fact, beyond a
short note saying "8.00 Finally get onto B5", my page and a half of scribbles
doesn't mention 401 at all...

But I'm jumping ahead of myself here, which is quite a difficult thing to
achieve if you think about it, and I'm sure Jonathan Edwards would love to
know how to do it :-)  Backtrack, backtrack... back to the start of the
evening, back to that time known in polite company as ten to seven.

Yes, ten to seven.  6:50.  And what do I find as I reach the Tap & Spile?
Keith AND Andy 3 already there, about halfway through their first (? I'm
giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming it was just their first ;-)
pints.  Now the last time Keith was anywhere near early for a Gathering, it
was the closest we've come to a complete flop.  So seeing him there, looking
his cheery self (sans moustache) made me wonder just what we were in for.
But never mind, there are better things to think about, like saying hi to
Andy3 for the first time not involving an internet connection.
This leads me to a point, which is probably not interesting, but I'll
continue anyway since there's no-one here to stop me.  Pity really, it's
half one in the morning and I'm all alone in the dark.  Sigh...

Get thyself back on track, young Coulson, there are people waiting...

So, as I was about to say, the point is raised that no sooner do we manage
to scare off one Andy from the group than another one arrives, fresh faced
and innocent of the pain and suffering that lies ahead.  How do we manage
it?  Is there some EC stockpile of Andy's, just waiting to be distributed
around the country as and when needed?  Or is there something about us
that attracts Andy's?  And if so, why the hell couldn't we attract someone
worth attracting, like cute 20something females with tattoed arms and
collections of trainers to rival JD Sports...

Look laddo, I've warned you once, stay on topic...

On topic... quite a novel concept for a B5 discussion.  But OK, howsabout
photos from Wolf 359?  That's on topic methinks.  Unfortunately, Andy
failed to live up to the tradition set by his namesakes by not producing
so much as a single photo of a B5 convention, but Keith more than made up
for it by dropping a quite enormous album onto the table.  A lot of
averagely decent photos, some rather dodgy ones (oh look, there's someone
dressed in black standing in the shadows, I think...) but more than made
up for with the exceedingly nice ones - the one-legged (don't ask) Pat
Tallman springs to mind at this point :-)

Well, that covers the first 10 minutes, it's now seven, which means it's
time for Ian to arrive.  As if by magic, he does.  What class, what
timing, what predictability...  Keiths photos get another going over for
his benefit, with much "who's that" and "when were they in B5" and other
similar utterances.
Coming to the photo of someone in Ranger garb clutching a non-extendible
Minbari fighting pike led to some talk about extendible ones, with the
result that we have our first quote of the evening:

"Extending these things is easy, it's getting them back down that's hard."

At least, we assume Andy was talking about pikes...


Skipping through the next 45 minutes or so, Janet and Nick arrived, which
got us up to our total for the evening.  Ooh joy, a whole 6 of us.  I know
I've suggested that small groups are easier to handle, but there's small
and then there's small, and this is just plain small...
But anyhew, it just means we have to work harder at enjoying ourselves,
and we do.  I mean, if we weren't enjoying ourselves, how could we come up
with comments like:

"It's great when you can hear something coming behind you"

Of course Ian was referring to Pro-Logic audio systems.  No, really.  Or
was it AC-3?  But whatever, it wasn't in any way designed as an intentional
reference to a certain bodily function, which is why, naturally, it makes
the ideal unintentional comment.

The unusually up to date selection of music on the jukebox tonight included
a track from those unknown Space Gauls, which led to a rather worrying
exchange between myself and Ian - at least I think it was worrying.  What
would you call it when two grown men start quoting alternate lines from
"Who Do You Think You Are"?  Although perhaps we were just under the
impression that we were appearing on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.  Yes, that
must be it.  Not worrying at all.  Phew.  At least we weren't singing...


"How to spook a Gatherer" - Chapter 2, use of external agencies:

In chapter 1 we learnt that the deployment of a newly acquired Andy complete
with convention photos would induce a state of fear and anxiety into the
typical Gatherer.  Now we introduce the second method.  Simply arrange for
an emergency services vehicle (Fire, Police, Ambulance, or in desperate
situations an AA van) to drive past the pub whenever someone suggests
getting a round of drinks in.  Repeat until paranoia sets in.

Sounds too wierd to be true?  You haven't spent time in the Tap & Spile then!
More than just a pub, it's a focal point for strange and bizarre events.
Which no doubt explains some of the topics of conversation we come up with.
A large helping of spoo to the first person who can correctly deduce what
we were talking about here:

"What's the difference between pink and purple?  The grip.
 What's the difference between purple and green?  The time."
 

Janet, Keith and Nick, being the lightweights they are, left a little bit
early, and so it fell to the Ian's, Andy's and Chris's of the group to
maintain a presence in the pub until closing time, and beyond.  Finally
getting persuaded to leave the premises at nearly half eleven, we set about
the task of returning to our places of abode.


Well, I think that sort of does it.  Problem is, it's getting increasingly
difficult to put the Gatherings into words, they really do lose a lot in
the translation.  It most definitely was another amusing and entertaining
evening, but not in any way, shape or form that's easily described.
I think Andy left with more positive than negative opinions, so no doubt
we'll be seeing him at the next one, damn...



...come back Andy, I was kidding {:-)



Be seeing you
Chris

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