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What a disappointment...

6th January 1998
About Melanie
MediaWatch
Oh Dear...
Real fans write...
What does 'snog' mean?
Other Spice Sites
Lyrics

  From the January 3rd Daily Express, an article that on the surface appears all sweetness and light. But even the slightest bit of digging reveals that it's just yet another addition to the list of not very good articles about Melanie. Which is why it appears here, rather than in MediaWatch...
First the article itself, followed by my comments to specific points (marked as [1], [2] etc. within the article text).

SPORTY SPICE COMES OUT OF HER SHELLSUIT

James O'Brien


The reason for Melanie Chisholm's inclusion in the most successful pop band of
the Nineties used to be shrouded in mystery [1].  Why, demanded fans and 
critics alike [2a], did Ginger, Scary, Posh and Baby Spice choose to share 
their limelight and lucre with a pasty-faced, tattooed tomboy in a football 
strip?  Seasoned Spice-watchers [2b], however, have always known the answer:  
Sporty possesses more raw talent than the other four put together.  It was her
voice that carried the girls through their first concert in Istanbul in 
October.  It is her frenetic but inch-perfect dancing that injects their 
performances with real excitement.  And it is her no-nonsense attitude that 
best encapsulates the enigmatic girl power dogma.

"For me, the singing is everything," she confirmed after the Istanbul concert.
"Singing was the reason I joined the Spice Girls.  I've been frustrated
because, after all the promotion, interviews and work, it's the thing we've
spent the least time doing."
And now, it seems, the rest of the world is waking up to the fact that Mel C
has real star quality.  The smart money is even backing Sporty to be the first
Solo Spice.

Not for her the fretting about image, appearance, celebrity boyfriends and
Draconian management.  It is she, say industry insiders, who is now developing
both a reliable ear for the timeless pop that the girls purvey and the 
determination to play a more significant songwriting role.
Her assured, breathy vocals have been compared to Annie Lennox.  Her relish
for performing, while the other four prefer preening and posing, stands 
comparison  with Janet Jackson.  And, crucially, last month's premiere of 
their film Spiceworld saw the soccer-loving, shellsuit-wearing,  somersaulting
scally make way for a girl with glamour, talent, class and a cleavage. [3]

This was the culmination of a concerted but low-key campaign to assert her 
femininity.  At the Brit Awards in February, the 24-year-old [4] publicly 
sported a frock for the first time.  By September, she was modelling designer 
Donna Karan's latest dresses for Elle magazine and, by the time filming 
finished on Spiceworld, she was reportedly determined to jettison the dowdy 
image.  "Why do I always have to be on a bike and wearing a tracksuit?" she 
demands in the movie.
A film-set source reveals: "She told me she'd never really bothered with
make-up before but during the shoot she spent more and more time in make-up
and was determined to get the hang of it.  It was like watching an ugly 
duckling turn herself into a swan.  She has classic features and an even 
better bone structure than Posh, all she needed was a little polish."

A spokeswoman for the girls confirms that Mel wished to change.  "She has
grown up with the band and wanted to look more stylish.  She can't act the 
tomboy for ever."  
The move is already paying dividends.  In last month's ITV's An Audience With
the Spice Girls she was wittier, sharper and more exuberant than the 
others [5].  The crowning glory for the revamped Sporty was the news that 
Robbie Williams had fallen [6] for the newly-revealed charms [7] of a girl who
recently complained that she hadn't had sex since becoming famous.

The big question now is whether Sporty wants a new Spice-free career to go 
with her new look, haircut and boyfriend.  Ginger,  Scary, Baby and Posh had 
better pray that she does not.

OK, here we go...

1.
Did it? I'm sure plenty of us were actually asking "why is Victoria in the group?" And we still are... Melanie's inclusion seemed quite obvious, just as soon as you had your first taste of Wannabe.

2.
So, if fans and critics were demanding to know why she was in the group, just who were these "seasoned Spice-watchers" who knew the answer all along?

3.
Ah, of course, the one thing guaranteed to grab the attention of male tabloid journos up and down the country... Can't you take your minds off sex for ONE second?

4.
Not at the time this article was written, she wasn't... Getting a simple thing like that wrong casts a shadow over the rest of the article. If your research failed to provide you with her correct age, then what else did it fail to provide? Did you even do any research at all...

5.
Excuse me? So before she started wearing makeup, smart clothes and having her hair done a bit more intricately, she had no wit and was as sharp as one of those plastic knives you get at takeaways? Gosh, how stupid I am, here I was thinking she already possessed those attributes anyway. Perhaps I should start wearing makeup, I might become more intelligent then...

6.
Kind of a kick in the teeth for the long list of men who'd already fallen for her before the image change, isn't it. Sorry guys, I guess our feelings count for nothing :-( But hey, why ruin a perfectly good article about her sexy new look by admitting that plenty of us thought she was damned good looking originally? Forget that, let's just go along with the popular myth that the reason she didn't have a boyfriend was because none of us fancied her. I mean, since when did the media let the facts get in the way of a story?

7.
Newly-revealed? Only to someone who's been walking round with their eyes closed these last 18 months. Or to someone who refuses to believe that a woman can be attractive without the addition of layers of makeup and revealing clothes. Which, unfortunately, appears to cover most of the male journalists in the British media... and this article does little to suggest otherwise.

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