Mailing the Webmaster

16th December 1999
'Melanie' writes...
  Given the amount of email (lots) I get from visitors, I can't guarantee that I'll reply to each and every one of you. Certainly, if you're emailing just to say "hi, love the site etc. etc.", then don't be too surprised if you don't hear back from me. It's not that I don't appreciate your comments, because I most certainly DO - and I'll say right now that each and every one of you who's sent me an email like that in the past, or is about to send me one now, is a wonderful human being and precisely the sort of visitor people like me love to get on our sites! So a BIG THANKS to you all!!!

However, regardless of what you want to email me about, there are some important things you need to know first:

Not, Don't, Can't... | Fake or Fact? Emails from "Melanie C"... | Comments about the other Girls... | Sending me binaries...

Not, don't, can't...

I'm not Melanie

I don't know the Spice Girls

I can't get you stuff like signed photos, posters, letters

I can't do copies of things I've got on video

I don't know their home or email addresses, or their phone numbers

I can't pass on messages to the Girls

I'm not Melanie

Yes, I repeated that last point, because it's the one that is most often forgotten, and the one that needs to be remembered above all the others. Besides, my poor little brain gets confused when I see mail addressed to Melanie instead of Chris...

And if you've got a question that you think someone else might already have asked, then make sure you check the Ask Chris page first, I might have already answered it there!

I don't use IRC, ICQ or any other realtime chat system, and at the moment I have no plans to start - I spend quite enough time dealing with email and usenet messages without adding any other methods of communication to the list ;-)

If you want to try contacting Melanie, or any of the other Girls, then the only suggestion I can make is to get out a pen and paper, and write to the fan club address. As far as I know, there is NO way to contact them via the internet, and any addresses claiming to belong to one of the Girls should be treated with suspicion...

Fake or Fact? EMails from "Melanie C"...

If anyone wants to convince me that they're really Melanie, then all you have to do when emailing me is to include something that she'd know (or be able to find out) about me, but that virtually no-one else would. Something like, say, a brief description of whatever it was that accompanied a recent letter to her... and I'm not talking about the envelope :-)
Strangely enough, none of the emails/guestbook entries I've had from "Melanie" so far have included anything that makes me believe it was, without any doubt, sent by her. Not that I'm surprised...

Comments about the other Girls...

I realise that what I've said about the others (particularly Mel B) might upset some people. And whilst I apologise for that, I stand by what I've said. They are my opinions to make, and if you don't like them then that's fair enough. If you, therefore, want to have a sensible discussion with me about them, then go ahead, mail me.
But if you just want to send a quickly written message full of abuse and hatred, then don't bother, because a) it won't upset me at all, it'll just make me think you're a bit of a loser, and b) it'll do nothing to make me change my mind. Indeed, the more thoughtless comments I get from people trying to defend their fave Spice, the less likely I am to give serious consideration to a well thought-out argument in their defence, so you're only making life worse by your actions.
I've thought very carefully about everything I've written on this site - I have to, it's the public outlet for my feelings and opinions. So please, do both of us a favour and think just as carefully about what you want to say to me. Intelligent criticism is good for the site, mindless criticism is good for nothing.

Sending me binaries...

Stop right there. Don't even think of sending me a binary file of any description unless I've asked you to. Out of all the unsolicited pictures that have been sent to me in the last couple of months, none of them have been ones that I didn't have somewhere. And amazingly, most of them were actually pictures that are already on the site!!! So please, send me a short text-only message telling me what it is you've got, and ask me whether or not I'd like it sent to me. And then wait for my reply before sending it!
If the item in question is something you've seen on another website, then it's far easier for you to send me the URL of the site, so I can go there myself and pick up the files directly. And if it's a file that you've created yourself, then if you've got your own website, then why not drop the file into a directory there, and again, tell me the URL. Emailing a binary attachment should be the last resort if there is no other way of getting the file to me, because attachments are an inefficient way of moving binaries around...

So, now that you've read all of that (you have read it all, haven't you...), and you've decided that you still want to go ahead and mail me, then here's the address to send your message to:
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